Indecision

I either need to find a new apt here in Dodge (which would most likely require at LEAST a six month lease, or I need to quit my job and move back to my motherland. I finally got kind of excited about staying here since I was planning on taking classes next semester at the community college here, etc. But now my living situation is in need of immediate attention.

So here is my game plan. I will speak to my boss about getting out of work for about four hours a week to take a class that I really want to take. If she grants me my request, I will stay here and figure something out for living. If she denies me, I will give my two weeks notice and go on my merry way.

I have tried praying a lot about this. I can't seem to get an answer that way. I either am not praying hard enough or it may just be a decision I need to make on my own. I will continue praying about it, but I will study it out in my mind a tad more first. So here is a pro and con list of moving to Emporia versus staying in Dodge.

Pros of moving to Emporia

1. A rent-free living situation - only paying utilities.
2. Being around my sister and closer to other members of my family.
3. Getting away from some members of my family I don't get along with as well.
4. Being around a lot more people I know and love.
5. Trees.
6. Having my own furniture - not using someone else's or buying anything new.
7. Being around the beautiful cat Thumper in the twilight of his life.
8. Option to go back to ESU sooner than anticipated - I always planned on going back eventually.
9. Tap water that doesn't taste like rocks and chlorine.
10. The comfort of being in my home town.

Cons of moving back to Emporia

1. Necessity of quitting my job and trying to find a new one.
2. Going back on my promise to the Dodge community college professors that I would attend their classes and join their choirs.
3. Leaving my awesome Sunday school class which although unruly, I love to death.
4. A feeling of failure of having not completed something I began.
5. The social stigma resulting from having skipped town and apparently accomplishing nothing.
6. Admitting to myself and others openly that coming out here was a mistake.
7. Living in a run-down house that will probably require lots of work to maintain let alone fix.
8. Possibly have to accept an even lower paying job than I already have that I might hate.
9. Giving up the enjoyment of experiencing my raise in pay I will get in January.
10. Leaving all the people here that are nice enough to be acceptable.

This list isn't necessarily comprehensive. I also noticed that I had a harder time thinking of cons for moving back to Emporia, but the cons carried a lot more weight than the pros. So I am again at an impasse.