I lost 20 pounds. Woot.

Big Fish in a Small Pond

I joined the local community choir. They sound pretty awful, but singing with a choir again is a form of respite in my whirlwind of a life. And actually they sound better than the local community college choir (they are awful and a half). It's kind of like a guilt ridden pride fest out here. Since there are slim pickins on awesome people out here (more specifically, people with musical talent) most people seem to rant and rave about how great I am. Not only with music and junk, but more important things too. I think this is all fine and dandy, but it eats away at my conscience, because I know I never should have moved here in the first place. It wasn't necessarily a bad decision, but it certainly wasn't the best.

At least I can sometimes sort of enjoy myself out here, and I have met a small handful of cool people. Most of which are over the age of 50. My Sunday School class is awful. I teach the 12-13 year olds, and so far, I only have six of the rowdiest boys to teach the gospel. No girls. Maybe if there were some girls, the boys would be a little more eager to impress them by being respectful, rather than trying to impress eachother by being total brats. I feel totally inadequate, because I know hardly anything about teaching. I went to a teacher's development course for like an hour and a half after church today (yikes). I'm thinking I am going to need a lot more of those.

So as I put myself through the refiner's fire, maybe I can pick up some valuable skills and connections on the way. Otherwise, my sojourn out in the wilderness is an entire waste of time.

Dodge isn't terrible. Let me rephrase that. Dodge is a disgusting, sorry excuse for a town, but I like my job here. I have been facing a dilemma that I must solve quickly. It is akin to the dilemma I have faced ever since I graduated high school. I must decide what I want to do with my life, and when. I know I need to go back to school. Emporia would be a good choice. It would be possible to stay here in Dodge and go to the community college here, but I sort of hate Dodge City. But I do have a job here that endures through May. I REALLY don't want to quit my job. But I also really want to be continuing my education. I think there should be a test out for college. Someone can study up in a library or something, read a bunch of stuff about a subject, then take a test to get a bachelor's degree. It's a perfect solution, right? Well, at least certain subjects should be able to be tested out of. Like everything except things that have practical aspects, such as musical performance etc. Like a history class? Who the heck wants to sit through a semester of boring lectures straight from a book when you can read it on your own at home? Seriously. College costs a ridiculous amount. Which discourages losers like me from going back to school, by giving me something to gripe about.